I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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