it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
