I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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