I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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