im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
