yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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