I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
