You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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