Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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