were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
