I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
