You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
