so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
