Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't turn off my feet"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
