you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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