Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
