garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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