No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
