I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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