Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
