your parents love me but you hate me
we have officially lost it.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Are my feet made of real feet?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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