Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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