They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize