She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
