He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
