Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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