That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
