i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
