Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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