those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
