yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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