i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you traded sex for a burrito?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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