He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
