Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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