She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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