i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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