Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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