I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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