The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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