My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
