We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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