just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
