Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
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found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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