that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
