Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
