Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
