i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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