Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
