A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize