I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
