How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
