All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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