All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize