SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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