just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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