this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
