and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
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He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
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Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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