I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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