i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
