yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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