Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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