i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
