my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
